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We come to the tip of one other yr of Suggestions and Murmurs, Crikey‘s repository for all of the gossip we’ve heard and the bizarre stuff we’ve observed, and the gossip you’ve heard and the bizarre stuff you observed. Big due to everybody who advised we take a better take a look at this or that all year long — we are able to’t wait to listen to from you once more in 2024. Till then, right here’s a number of a few of our 2023 favourites:
Which one in all you drongos tried to ship Scott Morrison a bag of weed? (November 9): What appears to have occurred is that somebody despatched a bag of weed within the publish to an illegible deal with, and put the return deal with as “Scott Morrison, Canberra”. So when the satan’s lettuce in query couldn’t be delivered to its addressee, it will definitely discovered its option to the parliamentary mail room.
Now we don’t wish to accuse somebody who sends baggage of primo bambalachacha by way of the mail — and places “the place the politicians reside” because the return deal with — of fuzzy pondering, but when it’s an elaborate prank, it’s a little bit of a bizarre one. Morrison wasn’t even PM at that time. Was the sinsemilla supplied by the use of comfort, coming roughly per week after his job obtained decidedly much less hectic, possibly?
Sordid, mendacious, riven with division — No camp is a cesspit. Nevertheless it works
A non-exhaustive record of the whole lot that’s “woke” in response to The Australian (June 19):
And far, far more…
Peak AFR (July 6): The Australian Monetary Overview often wears the fame of being a paper for individuals with names reminiscent of Plutus P. Moneyfellows, who wouldn’t feed what your loved ones eats at Christmas to the hounds on their property, who’re so infuriated by the considered baristas getting weekend penalty charges that their high hat merely flies off their head, touchdown within the caviar holder and comically splattering their dinner visitors. There are days when this appears unfair. After which there are days like this.
Whereas Australia struggles with a cost-of-living disaster, as housing and childcare providers slip from the grasp of regular individuals, help providers are maxed out and supermarkets brace for elevated shoplifting of primary meals objects, the AFR snorted the headline “Why CEOs ought to be paid extra” into the again of its throat and hocked it into readers’ faces.
Maybe feeling that the bandaid was off, that very same day the paper additionally introduced it was launching “Australia’s first status watch honest”.
The upshot of marriage equality laid naked: the loveless union of two male penguins (July 4): Advocates for marriage equality on this nation should cling their heads in disgrace. We blithely dismissed the considerations of conventional marriage exponents about the place such modifications to our social cloth would possibly lead us. We had been smug and complacent, and we can’t say we weren’t warned.
What the wedding equality vote can educate us in regards to the Voice referendum
It will need to have been a bittersweet form of vindication for Household First chief Lyle Shelton to place out a press launch regarding the place the rainbow Gestapo has dragged us: two male penguins “manipulated” right into a loveless marriage.
Historic tennis membership below risk from native title declare (September 8): 2GB host Ben Fordham introduced us the story on the way forward for the Naremburn Tennis Courts, and claims that the membership had been forged right into a storm of uncertainty due to an unresolved Aboriginal land rights declare.
I imply, I can solely ask, how would the Metropolitan Native Aboriginal Land Councils of this world prefer it if that form of factor was performed to them?
Having to cope with the fallout of some form of land seize, to have irreplaceable websites of deep historical past and group destroyed with the stroke of a pen, with generations passing earlier than something approaching justice could possibly be even reluctantly mentioned? You possibly can’t even think about.
By their logic, Peter Dutton and Michaelia Money may be ineligible for Parliament (September 1): No matter these whingers on the Australian Electoral Fee and elsewhere need to say about “damaging and opportunistic assaults on democratic establishments” or no matter, it’s a common reality: all ticks imply sure and all crosses imply no. Which is why we had been horrified when a tipster obtained in contact to direct us in direction of Dutton’s register of {qualifications}:
Oh. My. God.
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